The Antivirus


I was born on March 6, 1958 in Charleston South Carolina, where the first shots were fired in the Civil War. I am tired of being blamed for everything! I was born a Revolutionary!!! On my birthday in 1992 the legend of a Michelangelo Virus swept through the cyber world. It was a pre-internet scare that caused the first ever public malware. The result of the scare was the whole antiviral industry was built. In my distorted thinking I thought I was the real Virus because I was a real hacker, which is a mindset not a state of computer knowledge. I took the handle from the world’s Greatest Hacker who was a bitter toothless old man named John Draper, alias Captain Crunch. John arrived at that moniker because he learned how to modify the toy whistle in the cereal box and mimicked the tone used in switching lines, so that he could make free phone calls. Ma Bell was not amused even though by using the phone lines she saved money by not having to run an electric current through the line. He was jailed numerous times where he taught the inmates how to make the free phone calls from the prison phone.

That is why jails are known as “Universities For Crime” by those in the know. While in jail he was allowed to leave jail during the day. And work on his computer project which was the 1st word processor, named EasyWriter, for a desktop computer.An initial leap forward in the Information Revolution. He made a cool $1m off it. Another reason I consider him as the world’s greatest hacker is because he showed Wozniak and Jobs how to build the Blue Box to make the free calls that they sold in the dorms of the Bay Area to fund the computer project in Jobs’ garage that later became Apple Computer- an initial leap in the Computer Revolution. Which just proves the old saying that “there’s a crime behind every fortune.”

The seminal movie “War Games” was based on Crunch’s Hack. Draper had hacked into the White House Red Line. He was at a party on the West Coast and wanted to show off his computer prowess, so he called the White House Red Line. Crunch said the code word, which was “Albatross.” President Nixon was awoken from his sleep. When he got to the phone Captain Crunch said “We have a national emergency in Los Angeles!” The President said, “What is it?” Captain Crunch answered, “We are out of toilet Paper!!!” Needless to say he didn’t resign the same day, but I believe “The Toilet Paper Crisis in LA” not only haunted Nixson to his resignation a few months later, but also haunted him to his deathbed! I was driving Crunch in my Honda Civic. When we stopped, I made a hack on the door lock! I pulled the door handle and locked the door from the inside. John went wild. He yelled, “How did you do that? Show me how to do that!!!” A simple maneuver on the gadget designed to keep people out was used to take John’s crown as the “WORLD’s GREATEST HACKER!!! I AM THE “GREATEST ANTI VIRUS!!!””

You may ask what I am doing with this. I will gain the soap box necessary to inform people of the much better OS Linux. Linux is widely known among Internet Service Providers from the beginning of the internet. We shall end the virus explotion and put more money in our pockets once we all spread the information to everyone.